TRIP TO THE DENTIST

I guess my teeth isn't as wonderful as I thought they were. I had my first cleansing here in Idaho. Turns out that I need to pull the rest of my wisdom teeth and do a root planning. Root planning is where you have to cleanse the bottom of the teeth in the gums. Just sumthin' sumthin. That sucks. I totally hate going to the dentist PERIOD. We'll keep you updated.

FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN

You know it seems like the everyday life frustrations tend to slowly deteriorate the fun and laughter w/ in a relationship. Especially a marriage. Well, in our case, it is the unexpected that usually wake us up to reality and see that we still are in love... it just shows itself in many different ways. Last week I was almost faced with the cold reality that Ryan was to leave me to go to somewhere far, far away for god knows how long. It was a military thing...not the type of stuff to leave on a published blog (sorry). So anyway, I was at my girlfriend Sherry's house when Rai's supervisor's wife comes over w/ some bad news. "Hey sis, the boys are leaving again". God, I felt like crying. What she told me felt like the most horrible news in the world. For gods sake, I would love to have a normal life.. someday soon I hope. The first half of this year was spent deploying (not by choice, might I add) and It has been so nice to have him home all to myself.. and then POOFhe's gone. So he came over after hearing the news. Came to me, hugged me tightly and we cried. Cried out our frustration, or sadness, and despair. We love each other dammit.. that's what counts I know, but can't we be selfish for just one moment please???

OUR ANGELS WERE WATCHING US THAT DAY....

We found out the next day (after Ry spending the whole day w/ me @ work) that they didn't have to leave at all, that they were on standby. What a relief!! I guess we are allowed to be selfish and actually get what we want sometimes. So remember that folks, when there is hope.. theres always that slim chance that your prayers will be answered.

Ahhh the relaxation!

So yeah, now that I've been off from work for four days straight now, I don't know what to do with myself. My play is over (last night was a smashing hit ~ by the way ), birthday planning is over, what to do???? It really sucks to know that the past two days I have been trying to clean up my house after the hurricane hit last week. I should be going out shopping, or visiting friends or something!!?? Yeah , well... the weekend was well worth it. lemme see, it actually seemed like my birthday was all of last week. With the neverending birthday wishes, cards, money, cakes!! Could you believe that I had three cakes for my birthday this year? I had to actually use my fingers to figure that one out. I guess because I did make the big TWO-ONE... so I guess it's a grand occassion. Like a milestone, if you will. Four cakes you ask? One was at a July birthday gathering last weekend at our friends house (more like ohana - family), the second was at my work (my boss is a sweetie, isn't she?), third was from my family back home of course (o: , and last but definitly not least was at our friends (more like ohana) hotel room right before we went clubbing. So that was that. I did manage to get drunk off my ass (because I could) and had hell of a night doing it. We all had fun and that was the main thing. The next morning is another story. hee hee.

no, i didn't get drunk off my ass and fall of the face of the earth!! (Thank you very much). But it was pretty close to it though. Nah, no worry mom.. i nevah get alchohol poisoning.. LOL... obviously. But we did have a lot of fun.

I must admit that it was pretty darn depressing spending another birthday away from home. The birthday blues just seemed like it wouldnt go away. I guess I had so much stuff on my mind and trying to do a million things all at once. But.. in the wee hours in the morning, those frustrations came out in the form of tears. The kind where you cry so hard that you hyperventalate. If das' how you spell um. But poor ry thought that he had let me down.. no, just had to cry. U guys know me. The day of my bday wasnt so hot either... until I got my show done. My last performance was a HIT and I did my duty. I got the responses from my audience that I desperately needed. It probably had something to do w/ Ry carrying a dozen roses and balloons backstage before the performance. What a guy.

When will the bullshit stop coming?

Are we ever so immune to the asshole defect in men, even after being w/ them for such a long time? In individual cases, the stimulus is entirely different from the next. But we all suffer from it. In my friend's case, she is newly married, and from the outside everything looks perfectly normal. The way all newly married couples should be: sneaking kisses on every chance they can get, calling eachother petnames and talking like babies in front of everyone. But my perception changed entirely the other night. See, this couple is leaving in a week to another country as their next station. So as of now, they are staying in a hotel not far away until they get the chance to leave here. We went there the other night to just hang out with them and several of our other friends and it went well. That was until after a few drinks "she" made a minor understatement and "he" got really angry and said a bunch of upsetting words. The tension grew as the night progressed and it eventually ended with she going to bed early (there were two rooms) and he grabbing another alchoholic beverage. Nothing was said to resolve the matter and as I talked to her last night... she feels so alone and confused. Do I blame her? no. Should she leave him? It's not for me to decide. As much as possible I pleaded with her to find a way to communicate her concerns before things got really violent. The worst part of it all is , is that she has a little boy. Don't get me wrong, her husband is a really nice guy... every one loves the both of them. But it's just another case of the judgement of a books cover. We'll see what happens.

happy medium

The mister and I had another infamous argument. The fun never stops!! heh heh. But tonights edition of "grumble, grumble, grumble" held the topic of disagreement. He doesnt agree w/ the way I do certain things. He's really nit-picky about those kinds of things. Sounds stupid, but yeah. it's like living w/ my mom all over again. I do disagree with certain ways I do things, but he always makes it a great big deal. sheesh!!! The thing that gets me , is that sometimes I feel like he has this pedestal that he stands on and there I am on the dirt covered floor. know what I mean? But slowly but surely, we are working on "acceptance" rather than "control". That's our problem. We both need control. All in all, we do work and fight greatly with one another. I'm the fighter/stubborn personality and he's the calm/peace maker personality. and vice versa (very rarely). But we try never to go to bed angry. It's tough, but somehow, we've always managed to pull it off.

They say the first couple years of marriage is the toughest. I'll be so glad when we're past that. At least we still appreciate each other. Love U booboo.

So life is great?

It's truly weird when throughout the month you feel confused, angry and emotional.. and then your period comes around and you feel perfectly normal!!!! What planet am I from?! Is this some form of punishment? I guess, that's just my many mood swings. Or, it could be that for now, I actually feel happy. I've been having nice day offs from work for a change, just went to the gym and noticed that my raquetball game improved, or on Sat my booboo surprised me with some early bday gifts when I thought he actually went to the gym. So life is doing well. Hopefully when I get rid of this period, things stay on the positive side. One downfall though, gonna try some new birth control pills. I know for a fact that some of those things make me truly BITCHY! youch! wish me luck?

long week.
It's been a really long week. Haven't really made the effort to write. I will try to, though. It's just all that juggling of time, money and energy. Haven't had much energy lately. Been really tired. Can't be im preg... I got my menstrual cycle. Late, but I got it. The production is going smoothly. I need to study my monologue a bit more. I just don't find myself as dedicated to this one as I was the last. The cast is pretty lame if you ask me. I really enjoy working with few of them , but the new people are a bit irritating. There is this one red headed BOY who is so cocky. He totally disrespects other cast memebers while on stage. I just wish I could smack him. Hope rehearsal goes okay tomorrow.

My birthday is coming up and it's scary. I say that because after you reach 21, the years just fly by so quickly. We are in the middle of planning that night. Make it the most memorable. My cousin BJ hopefully will be able to come down from Georgia. He leaves for Korea in a couple of months (USarmy), so it'll be nice if we could see him before he leaves. The hardest part about being so far away from home is adapting to not having your family and friends around to do the holiday/birthday things. But we do have our family and friends here to partly fill in that void.

hmmmn

It's been awhile.

Haven't been doing my part in keeping tabs w/ mr. blogger. Sorry eh! Life is not as complicated, I guess I'm having a good day. That changes a lot. With all of my mood swings and all. Things are quite comfortable at home w/ the hubby. Just kinda disgusted with myself for feeling like i'm doing nothing earth shattering. U know, like curing a disease or depleting homeless situation. lol. yeah, i'm a drama queen. I always believed I was destined for greatness, or making a difference in the world. I still do. That's why it's so frustrating! Ah, but I'll live.

Wasssssaaaapppp

Same ole' stuff in our household. But been spending a lot of time w/ my girl Sherry and her family. That feels good. She is almost the only person here that I truly know I can count on. We support each other. It's a beautiful friendship. Her 5 month old son is now our godson. Imagine that. They we all pretty much go back and forth to eachothers and just chill and have fun. Last night it was their house, and tonight it was ours. It feels good. REAL friends...not artificial. The best thing about it , is that Boo boo and SHer's hubby get along great, so of course it isn't uncomfortable when we're all together. We all have other friends that we all get together with, but this one is the tightest bond. I love Sher, as if she were my own sister. One free-spirit comforting another.. what more can you ask for? Thanks sher!